Speaker 1: 0:00

Changes. It was changes, big changes, changes. I've been super anxious lately, super stressed lately, super worried lately, like it's crazy and we're talking about changes.

Speaker 2: 0:09

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Speaker 1: 0:12

I think that is how the song goes. So Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. Isn't that how the song goes? Logan, Something like that Changes. I think that's a song, I don't know. You know a lot of stuff's going on. One consistent is we're here in the studio For now. Today, the Big Dog Podcast Yep, today, that is true cha cha, cha cha changes.

Speaker 2: 1:09

I think that is how the song goes, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 1:12

Today is the start of a really, really, really big year for the Wilson family. The start, the beginning to the end of an era For the Wilson family. The start, the beginning to the end Of an era. Some would say Kiki started senior year today.

Speaker 1: 1:42

It's a big time. I'm almost done, I've done it. I think I'd stop parenting at 18. That's how that works. Yeah, I'm not 18, but, like at graduation, I think that because you graduated, I don't have to parent you anymore. And then when Kiki graduates, yeah, I think me and your mom are free and clear no more responsibilities, no influence, no obligations, are free and clear no more responsibilities, no influence, no obligations. We're clear, all right, I think I've never been here before, really so as far as like, having no minor children, so we'll see what happens. It's a big year. More than likely last year, full-time in Virginia, more than likely last year, with kids under the roof, full-time, because you'll probably make a move next summer. Kiki's going to go to college next summer.

Speaker 1: 2:45

Changes we got new businesses we've launched. We have expansion opportunities within some of our businesses going on, got some software we're getting ready to release. We're still training dogs every day. Bay River's boarding daycare is doing awesome, with Danny Media agency's blowing up, doing awesome. A lot of changes though New people stepping up into roles they haven't been in before and I like change. I like change a lot. It doesn't bother me, like it's like cars, houses you know anything. For that matter, change doesn't never has bothered me. The only things I need to have consistent is my wife, you know, and my kids. And outside of that, changes like hey, I roll with the punches, I adapt, we pivot, we figure it out, life is life is life is good. However, it doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of anxiety that also comes along, you know, with it. And, um, you know I am super. I mean, I've never been clinically diagnosed, but there have been some professionals who have spoken to me about it and I definitely got the. The ad hid, the ADHD, I definitely got that. Would you agree?

Speaker 2: 4:18

Yeah, that's a professional diagnoser. Yeah, Me.

Speaker 1: 4:21

Yeah, Okay, I also have a ton of anxiety about stuff and I used to not talk about that, but I do talk about it a lot more and I think it got easier to talk about as I got more comfortable with how I deal't think publicly I present that way a lot, but no, I mean I definitely, definitely do A lot of the things I'm responsible for and people I'm responsible for. I mean, the weight just builds up, you know, and not wanting to disappoint anybody and execute on what I want and what my family needs, and you know the people who work for us and what they do. And so, you know, going into this time of change and seeing things happening and taking place that are things that we've planned for and worked towards for a really, really long time and it's just been things that have been spoken about. Well, when this time comes, there'll be a transition for this, Once this has happened, that's the time to transition, you know, for this and a lot of talking, but now it's time for action, Right, and so we're taking action. Action steps are starting.

Speaker 1: 5:49

You know, we were house hunting with you a week or two ago. That's crazy, but I told you when you came to us as like a sophomore and said hey, if you know, I I don't know that I want to go to college. Dad, mom and dad, I think I want to come work in the business. You know, we're like we dialed in a little bit more. We're like, hey, what are you interested in? You're like, I'm interested in dogs, I'm interested in business and marketing. Well, shit, the no-brainer thing is broner, the no-brainer bro. The no-bra thing it's going to work for us. You're interested in dogs. We got you Business and marketing. We got you you learn more. You learn more in your first six months than you would have learned in four years of college. You know you're coming up on a year. Oh snap, I think what's today? 24th, 26, 26, like five days ago, I think was one year. He started like August 20th or August 21st.

Speaker 2: 6:50

Yeah, something like that yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:51

And so you know, you've been here a year. I don't know. From my perspective, you've learned a lot of new stuff and you're executing on a lot of different things. What do you feel like? You feel like you learned a lot.

Speaker 2: 7:05

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:06

Was it stressful and anxious sometimes.

Speaker 2: 7:10

Parts of it, yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:12

So changes and big things happen. Well, one of the things I told you, though, when you were in high school, you know, and I think it was your junior year I said look man, play this right, do this right. You could own your first home, you know, when you're 20, you know, before you're 21 for sure, and if you want that to happen, you're going to be able to do that and make that happen, which is amazing, and I'm proud of that, because you know we had plans in place and you've done things you need to do on your end to put yourself in a position to be able to do that. And you know that's big time. You know a lot of people go their whole life and never own a home You're going to because you're smart and you're doing good with your money and making right choices, you know you're going to be able to to do that without mommy or daddy buying it for you. You know that type of deal, like you are doing it, you are earning it, it's yours and if you choose, that's what you ultimately want to do. That's amazing to me. That's cool. That comes with a lot of stress.

Speaker 1: 8:25

You leave in the house. You were gone for a week and a half, you know, and I saw you two days into it, you know for real quick for 24 hours. But man, it was super weird you being gone. It was a little taste of sorry. My nose is bothering me If you're on video watching. I apologize, my nose is no fake sneeze, though, just it's like a tickle. Um, you know, that was weird. It was kind of like a little test run of you not being in the house. I was like.

Speaker 1: 8:49

I don't really care for this, but that's the natural thing, right? That's normal. Normal for you to be gone and leave and do your thing, and so we're excited for you for that. But it was weird and it's change and you know it's Kiki senior year and I feel like every day she's more and more and more independent and coming and going and friends and all kinds of different stuff, and there's nothing wrong with that. That's perfectly normal. It's just different. It's weird, stressful.

Speaker 1: 9:27

My oldest nephew he left for college last week. He's at Virginia Tech Go Hokies. Ooh, that sounded gross. Ooh, only for him. Yeah, I mean it in support of my nephew. I don't mean it in Go Hokies in any way, shape or form of like I'm a tech fan or anything like that. Let me be very, very clear. But we know Gavin's going to kill it and have a great time, be very social, and you know he's going to make the most of his opportunities, and so he's gone and we're sad and it's weird, but it's normal. All these things are normal Doesn't mean that it doesn't cause some stress and it doesn't mean that it's not going to cause some anxiety.

Speaker 1: 10:14

Anxiety is normal. Everybody struggles with anxiety. Some people really struggle with anxiety. Some people really struggle with anxiety and there's a difference between experiencing anxiety and struggling with anxiety. You can be anxious about having to go and give a speech in front of a bunch of people. Right, okay, we suck it up, we go give the speech. That's most people. Some people, the thought of doing that would be debilitating. That's someone who struggles with it.

Speaker 1: 10:55

I've known for a long time. I've struggled with anxiety. I remember when your mom and I first got married. I remember, um, you know, we'd gone on our honeymoon, we'd looked at law schools that I was supposed to go to and I decided I didn't want to go. I didn't want to continue doing school. School's hard for me, I don't want to go to school anymore. And she's like what, what are you going to do? I said I don't know. You know, figure it out.

Speaker 1: 11:20

And I ended up, you know, going and working at MCI, which was a long distance phone company that I worked at in college, my first year of college, and made really good money. I almost dropped out of school, actually my freshman year, because I was making really good money and they wanted me to become a supervisor at 18 freaking idiots. No wonder they're not in business anymore, trying to make an 18 year old a manager. I was just dropping them sales, though, you know, and putting up big numbers. So that's what you do, you, you, you make the best salesperson a manager, which is a stupid business model. That's terrible. Most of your best salespeople should never be in management. You should let them go, hunt, let them eat right, let them kill and bring in the business. But now they make them managers and they get miserable. So, anyway, I went back to working there, though while I looked for a job, and I think it was only about two months.

Speaker 1: 12:17

But here I am college grad, back at the same place I was working at five years before. College grad, back at the same place I was working at five years before. Yes, I know, that's a victory lap for those not paying attention. Five years Most people take four. I took five. I'd like to tell you it's because I transferred schools and changed my major.

Speaker 2: 12:39

My junior year it wasn't.

Speaker 1: 12:41

Again, not a really good student, Not a great student, but I try hard. So I had to try a little harder and I got an extra year to prove my worth and I did, I did and it was fine and good and I graduate and I went back to working at that same call center. I worked in for a year my freshman year of college and I felt like such a freaking loser. I just felt terrible. I felt like such a freaking loser. I just felt terrible. I felt like I let your mom down. I felt like I let my family down. I'm like damn, what a loser. What am I doing here, selling long distance and what other crap they were selling in 2002.

Speaker 1: 13:22

And we had our first little apartment. We're trying to figure out life and I remember for the first time in my life like that I recall, and maybe I'd had him sooner, but the first one I remember I had an actual panic attack and here I am 22 years old and I thought I was about to die. I remember sitting on the floor in our apartment and like I couldn't breathe and I'm just like freaking out. I mean, I was freaking out, like I couldn't breathe. I remember crying and being upset and your mom's like consoling me and it's all right, it's fine. What's going on? What's going on? And I, I didn't know it was a panic attack then, like I knew that a couple years after, but I mean, it was really really freaking scary and I'm like what the hell? And I was so embarrassed and I felt so weak and I felt like I was disappointing your mom and how is she gonna have confidence in me when I can't even, you know, handle this stage in our life? How is she she going to have confidence in me to handle, you know, the rest of it? And it was changes. It was all these big changes taking place and all this stuff happening. And I'm like, damn, is this how I'm going to respond to stress? Is this how I'm going to deal with things that come up in our life? And you know, I'm 22 years old, I don't know jack shit about anything. Changes, things are changing. It's different. There's these responsibilities and I've been screwing off at college for five years, still working, and all those things, but it's just different.

Speaker 1: 15:03

Now, all of a sudden, I'm a husband, I got responsibilities and I made promises of what I was going to be and what our life would look like, and we're sitting in a freaking roach-infested $299 a month apartment in Denby, virginia, newport News, northern Newport News in not a great area at all. Like I said, the rent was $299. When all the other apartment complexes you look at were like $1,200, $1,300. We're at $299. Had new vinyl, though, and appliances $299 a month, and I remember sitting there like I can't handle this. How am I going to uphold all these promises I made?

Speaker 1: 15:49

Now, 20 some odd years later, I'm still working to uphold a lot of those promises, but they were big picture dreams and what we wanted our life to be. And has our life gone exactly to plan how we mapped it out? Absolutely not, and this changes all the time. So many changes, I mean. I feel like I feel like I've had three lives already.

Speaker 1: 16:20

You know, and a buddy of mine, you know, larry, talks about how your brain. I don't know if this is for both sexes, but you know, and a buddy of mine, you know, larry, talks about how your brain. I don't know if this is for both sexes, but, um, you know what I just said, that both sexes. That's probably gonna piss some people off my bad, but I don't know if this goes for men or women also, or women also. But he had said he had read some study. I thought he said for men, like their brains like completely like changed, like from a personality standpoint, processes of thinking like twice in your life. And I thought he said the first time was like early to mid-20s and the second was like early mid forties. And I'm sitting there thinking about that.

Speaker 1: 17:08

I start lining up massive shifts in our lives and things that had happened during those points of my life and I was like, ooh, that makes sense, that makes sense. We're like what was, was I into? What had my focus, what had my energy during those seasons of life? And I'm like, holy crap, I can see that. I can see that and it's like I was the same person but at the same time, if this makes sense, I was a different person.

Speaker 1: 17:44

And you know, it's all centered around these changes and this anxiety that I struggled with and I feel like I've gotten better about it throughout my life. I mean, you know, I definitely know that I'm better about it, I definitely know that I'm better about it. But like it's okay to acknowledge that there's anxiety about something. It's okay to acknowledge that, hey, maybe what's going on with me. I need to talk to somebody about, right Like it's not something my mom can help me with, it's not something that you know my spouse, your spouse, can help you with. Like you, they want to help you but they're not equipped to help you with whatever is going on with you. So, like a professional, like a therapist, right Like I probably spent I don't know four or five months talking to a therapist years and years and years ago I finally went.

Speaker 1: 18:49

I was in a bad way and I went and I talked to him like once a week or whatever it was, and then I stopped going. They didn't tell me that I needed to stop going, but hell, I wouldn't tell me to stop going either. And that's how they make their money Right now. In theory, they're doing it because they want to help people and serve people and all those things. But, like you, got to live.

Speaker 1: 19:17

I mean, that's how you pay your bills, you know. And so they didn't tell me hey, man, you're good, you've dealt with this stuff, bounce. So they didn't tell me hey, man, you're good, you've dealt with this stuff, bounce. I knew that I dealt with my shit and I could bounce and be done with it. And I also know how I felt, like I haven't forgotten how I felt during that season and if I ever feel like I'm slipping back into that season, I know that that's an option and that was an option that did help me Right. And so you have to figure out for yourself kind of what, what do you do that helps you cope and deal with the anxiety, the stressors, the changes. Keep it to where you're experiencing anxiety. You're not struggling with anxiety. Some people got to be medicated, heavily medicated. Okay, I mean I'm not a doctor, I can't speak to it. Maybe that's what they need. But like, don't, don't beat yourself up. If you're ever in a situation where it's getting heavy and you just don't feel up and excited about everything, like that's okay, like that's not, you're not broken, it's not abnormal, it's not, you're not weak. If you're not bubbly in the moment and all this stuff, like. You can feel shitty, you can feel down, you can feel off a little bit. But recognize why. Recognize why I'm telling you right now, this time next year, when you're moved out of the house and we've just dropped Kiki off at college, I'm not going to feel good Like I get it. And when I think to myself I'm gonna go run out on those train tracks and just be done with life because I'm so sad and distraught, my kids are out of the house. I'm gonna take a moment and recognize to myself that's normal. Of course I want you guys to be like 11 and nine forever. It's one of my favorite times with y'all. That's not freaking normal life. That's not how things go. Of course I should feel sad that you guys are gone. Of course I'm going to be anxious about your sister going wherever the hell she's getting up going to college. That's not going to be anxious about your sister going wherever the hell she's getting up going to college. That's not going to be within five minutes of me. That I can just pop in and show up and then scorch the earth for any wrongs that she feels take place for her. Yeah, I'm going to be anxious that, if you need me, I'm not five minutes away to come help you do something or hang out or whatever you need, like, well, damn, am I there for him. But I am there for you, but I am there for your sister and your mom's going to be in Grammy, everybody Right? So, yes, I'm going to be stressed, yes, I'm going to be ridiculously anxious, but you know what else I'm going to be stressed. Yes, I'm going to be ridiculously anxious, but you know what else? I'm going to be Ridiculously proud, ridiculously proud that, okay, your mom and I aren't perfect, but we've done good enough to set you up to start this path, this journey for you to do things. I'm going to be crazy.

Speaker 1: 22:52

I was telling you yesterday we were in Charlotte, so stop for lunch. I'm like man, we were just walking. I was like I'm so incredibly proud of you, like I just am. I just am, and your sister too, and she's going to leave me. She's going to go far away. I know she is and I'm glad she's confident to do that and bold enough to do that and far away.

Speaker 1: 23:14

You know people like Jamie. She goes, Jamie. Jamie's not that far away, it's far away. When my ass is in Dallas, that's far away. It's far away. It's less far when we're back in Virginia for a little bit, but three hours is a hell of a lot different than down the hall.

Speaker 1: 23:40

That's stressful, that's worrisome, that creates an enormous amount of anxiety. That I'm experiencing and like my challenge to people, I'm just telling you stuff that I'm experiencing and, like my challenge to people, I'm just telling you stuff that I'm going through, stuff that I'm thinking about, stuff that's on my mind right now, and I bet you know if you're listening or watching, there's things that are causing you stress. They are causing you stress, they are causing you worry, they are causing an extreme amount of anxiety to be experienced. And my challenge to you today is recognize why, recognize why you're feeling that way, why am I experiencing this? How am I going to attack it so that you don't end up struggling with it?

Speaker 1: 24:45

Experience it, it's fine, be in the moment, feel the pain, feel the sadness. Those are human emotions and they're fine human emotions. Recognize it, experience it, handle it. And if you can rationalize, this has worked for me and maybe it'll work for you. If you can understand why you're feeling this way and you can vocalize, even if it's just yourself, why you're feeling this way. I really believe you can keep from struggling with it. The struggle is where there's potential to lose Experiencing heartbreak, experiencing stress, experiencing anxiety, experiencing worry and hurt and challenges and difficulties All normal.

Speaker 1: 25:52

That's life. That is life. That's not the part that beats you. That's not the part that defeats you. The struggle part is when you allow it to go from an experience to a struggle. That's where shit gets scary, that's where things get out of control. That is when you start making really bad decisions, when you're struggling rather than experiencing. But you're struggling. You're not clear headed, so you can't work yourself through what's going on. You can't recognize and bring yourself back to center on God.

Speaker 1: 26:35

I'm feeling really down lately. What's wrong with me, man? I'm feeling really, really depressed. Am I having a situation like I had when Devin and I first got married? Am I about to start having panic attacks again? Am I spiraling into a bad spot? Did I let her down? Did I let my mom down? Do I let my kids down? Nobody knows. Everybody needs something from me. Everybody's waiting on me to do something.

Speaker 1: 27:05

It feels like maybe that's you, maybe that's how you're feeling right now, and if I'm being honest with you, it's actually exactly how I'm feeling right now. So I'm preaching to myself here, um, and if I'm being honest with you, it's actually exactly how I'm feeling right now. So I'm preaching to myself here, because all these things we've talked about, all these things we've dreamed for, all these things we've worked for, there's a big moment of change upon us, and this is self-inflicted. This is not anyone being any sort of way, but how I feel about it is I feel like I got a lot of people on hold right now, waiting to see what I'm going to do. Well, when, when, when are we doing this? When are we doing it? Why can't we do this now? Or, and it's not like well, where are you going to be? When will you be back? Like you're, you're going, going there. Well, what about this? Well, what about that? Are we ready to do this?

Speaker 1: 28:43

So we're doing this and that, like, I don't know yet, and what I'm almost struggling with but I'm still experiencing, I'm still at the experiencing level and I'm really trying to keep myself from going to the struggle level is I don't have to have any of those answers yet. I don't. I don't have to have any of those answers yet I don't. And is it other people asking those questions or is it me asking those questions? Am I creating this experience I'm going through, or am I responding to outside people putting this on me and if I really really think about it, I really really think about it, I really really think about it, it's probably both, it's probably a little bit of both, and nobody's wrong Nobody's wrong for asking me or you know, like, what my plans are and stuff like that. Um, nobody's wrong for that. Nobody's wrong for that. I just hate not being able to give them the answers yet. And I don't know yet. I don't. I honest to God don't know. But when it was talked about 10 years ago, it was a lot easier to talk about because that's 10 years from now. When it was talked about five years ago, it was a lot easier to talk about because it was five years ago. Well, it's not that anymore. I mean, it's a year from now and that shit's going to be here, like that.

Speaker 1: 30:28

And while it's important to know some of those answers, I don't necessarily want to be pressed on it right now, because I don't want to miss the moments of the next 12 months with both my kids under the same roof. I don't want to miss those things. I mean, I had signed up for this stupid course. Oh, you know what I was doing in the first place. I don't need to do it. I just wanted miss those things. I mean I'd signed up for this stupid course. Oh, you know, I was doing it in the first place. I don't need to do it, I just wanted to do it. I'm trying to get better. You know, 45 years old and still trying to get better. You should too. I don't care what age you are. You should always be trying to get better and grow and learn. And I, you know, no fault of theirs, all fault of mine. I thought this class I can just watch the recordings of the lectures, do the work, submit it, grow, learn, all that stuff. Yeah, so I'm at the first class. It's very much a live class online and it's two to three nights a week, three hours at a time, with like 20 hours of group and classwork outside of class time. So I've been out of college for well since 2002.

Speaker 1: 31:47

I went back to college last Monday. I was back out of college by 8 am Tuesday morning. We dropped that sucker and if this was next year, maybe a year after that, I probably wouldn't have made that adjustment. But knowing that this is the last year where I have both the kids under the same roof, I'm not spending 20 hours a week on some bullshit. I mean that respectfully, of course. It's bullshit when I compare it to what I'm missing. I'm sure as hell not spending two to three nights a week from 7.30 to 10.30, you know, looking like this on a mic and headphones and a computer, while my family's life is going by, because that's like your household, that's probably the one time a day that you're actually all together. So, yeah, you're not going to catch me on the computer Doing that.

Speaker 1: 32:52

What you're probably going to catch is more of what happened last night where, logan, we had just gotten back from Tennessee, we had a bunch of people over for dinner, we had such a blast and Logan's like um, logan's like hey, do you want to play? Um, what is it? The football, college football on the X-Box, which is phenomenal. I'm not a gamer by any means, um, but this game is freaking awesome and I beat Logan's ass like a week or two ago, um, really, really, really badly. So we played again last night and I think I scored once and I lost by a lot. He took it to me badly, but we played that and I said, hey, man, let's go watch this football game.

Speaker 1: 33:33

So Devin was in my room, in our room. Logan and I went in there. We're watching football. I remember five minutes of the game and I was asleep, apparently. You were in there for a while talking to mom and watching football and then she kicked you out, you know, to go to bed or whatever, and I didn't realize any of that happened, but at least I was present for the experience, not dialed in on the computer and doing whatever. So I'm making decisions to keep myself to where I'm experiencing the stress and anxiety and worry and heartbreak, but I'm making the decisions that keep it just as an experience and manageable.

Speaker 1: 34:22

I'm not making the decisions that are going to take me to the point of struggle and I made the decision to keep going with this course. That I wanted to do. That would have been a deliberate decision, an intentional choice that would take me immediately to the point of struggling with this stuff, because now I have on more responsibility, more things being asked of me and less time with what I want to be doing most. You got to stay in a situation. If I was already in the struggle, I probably wouldn't have made the right decision. I probably would have just felt so overwhelmed, so stressed out, so overburdened that I didn't even think to just walk away from the course. We'll just figure out how to balance it all. Figure out how to balance it all and balance is bullshit. Balance is bullshit. So much of people's stress and anxiety comes from trying to balance things, and that's an impossible task. There isn't balance. Design your life to where what needs you gets you. Be so clear on your mission and your vision and your values and what matter to you that when you have to step away from family, there isn't a point of contention because you have to go and focus on your business Because the business is the most important thing in that moment. So you have to go handle something. Because you handled it, your business survives another day and now you can care for your family and your employees, your teams, and sometimes you're really focused at work and dialed into work and you're working on a major project and stuff is going on and your spouse or your kid calls honey, I need you, dad, I need you. Guess what. I don't give a shit that you have three hours of work left and you're in the middle of the super important project. These get done. The precedent you have to go. They have to know that when they make that phone call you drop everything and go. That's not a balanced life. That's designing your life with intentionality so that you can be there for what needs you when they need you most. If it's about balance, you'll create such a life to where it's like well, the kids really need me for X, y and Z. But you know I still have another six hours here at work and then I've got 90 minutes allotted for dinner and family time and then I've got 90 minutes of you know, walking the cat and you know whatever you're trying to figure like everything's balanced out, to where everything's equal or where you feel it's equal in your mind, where you can justify the equality of it. But the thing is, when you do that and I believe this to my core you are constantly cheating something because you operate on this idea of balance when it doesn't exist. You're taking from something at all times.

Speaker 1: 37:57

When I choose my family's getting me, I'm taking from my business, family's getting me, I'm taking from my business. When my businesses get me, I am taking from my family. That's it. That's it. And when I'm giving to my family, I want to be giving to them fully. I don't want to be giving them. They're like someone someone super smart right now is listening, logan they're like what the hell does Josh think a balance is? You take a little from over here and you put it here so that balances out. Yeah, I don't want that shit. I don't want to give half of my stuff to my business and half of me to my family. If my family needs me, I half of my stuff to my business and half of me to my family. If my family needs me, I want my family to have me If my business needs me, my business can have me and if, when my family needs me or wants me, they know they get me fully.

Speaker 1: 38:57

When I have to get up in the middle of dinner and walk out to deal with some bullshit with the company, or a trip has to get canceled because something is going on and it just can't be allowed to happen because your dad isn't a traditional employee who has paid vacation and all these things, like I can't control when things happen. But because the family understands the buy-in, they understand what we're trying to accomplish as a family, they understand the vision and the mission that we're on. Is there disappointment when the trip gets canceled? Sure, yep. Is there disappointment because dad had to leave dinner and take a phone call? Yeah, maybe, but if you're clear about it and they get it and they know without a doubt when that phone rings or they walk into the office, dad, I need you. There's no question over whether they're going to get me or not. They got me.

Speaker 1: 40:11

That's not balanced life. That's intentionally choosing to be all in and it doesn't mean it's always going to be easy and it's always going to be gravy and everybody's happy. There's times where you're not going to be able to be around, you might miss something. They better understand why Because if they don't, there will be resentment, they'll hate your business, they will be dismissive of you, and there have been seasons of my life where I feel like I did create that. I feel like the last seven, eight years though it hasn't, I don't think I failed. Have I have? Have I failed there? No, I mean you can say it on the thing.

Speaker 2: 41:01

If I have. I mean, that's the point of this is being transparent.

Speaker 1: 41:05

So I feel like and I'm gone a lot, guys Like I work a ton, but I feel like when we're together, we're together and you know it's, it's good. One thing I learned about me this past week last Wednesday we got to go down to our dearest, dearest friends Swindles, who live down in Knoxville, and they've checked a big box of a dream, a life dream, and we're so excited for them. And you know they've bought the family farm and bought their family farm. I should say it's new to their family, it's eight, their family farm. I should say it's it's new to their family, it's their family's farm. Now, it wasn't in the family before. So let me clarify that. And it is a beautiful, amazing, incredible property, just an amazing, amazing spot. I I'm I'm so incredibly proud of them, I'm so incredibly excited for them.

Speaker 1: 42:03

And I've been in Tennessee more in the last three months. I've been three times in three months, I guess you know, since they've moved to this place, you know, then, the last couple of years, unfortunately. But they got all the fun toys like farm toys and stuff. But they got all the fun toys like farm toys and stuff. And this time I went down. We went down there Wednesday. We came back yesterday.

Speaker 1: 42:31

So the four days I'm there, I probably spent three of them cutting grass and man, I tell you what I was not thinking about work I, I, I wasn't really thinking about anything, I was having a blast and Chris kept. Josh, you got to stop, man, just relax, you're, you're on a, you're on a trip, you're on vacation. Like, just relax, like I'm not on vacation, like I'm not on vacation, I'm just down here instead of at home, right, and like this is actually super relaxing to me and I don't like we don't even own a lawnmower for years We've paid some people to mow our lawns and they do a good job and it's a better use of my time to do other things and mow my lawn.

Speaker 1: 43:21

There was no better use of my time the last couple of days than riding that zero turn mower and just mowing and mowing, and mowing. I've been super anxious lately. I've been super stressed lately. I've been super worried lately, like it's crazy and we're talking about changes, changes. It is a song. We should have the team put that as the outro song. Can you make a note of that, unless?

Speaker 1: 43:55

there's like copyright rules, why we can't? There's so much going on, but it even expands beyond all the changes of the family, the businesses, the companies are in huge places of transition right now. Economy is wonky, business is weird. It's weird, it's not bad. We're very fortunate when I look at a lot of the stuff that I see out there. But there's worry. I'm responsible for it, so I'm responsible for everybody who's underneath that umbrella. It's worrisome, scary, stressful, causes, a lot of anxiety. I'm getting to experience all of it. I understand and recognize why I'm feeling this way and I thank God for a zero turn lawnmower in Knoxville, tennessee, because for three days they're trying to do it. Josh, get off that thing, come on, just relax, take it easy. I really didn't want to because I was relaxed and taking it easy I was zero thoughts, zero thoughts. I was just getting sunburned.

Speaker 2: 45:10

I was reading a book, uh, earlier. Yeah, it's called don't believe everything you think, yeah, and I was just reading, uh, this part. I was talking. It's like a speedometer it's thoughts per minute. Yeah, when you think too many thoughts, you get in the red and you just get overwhelmed and stressed. And when you're the most happy and like at peace and just filled with joy, like think about a moment, it said think about a moment when you were at your most joy and peace and what were you thinking about? And what you're thinking about is usually nothing, no thoughts. When you're just completely thoughtless and just doing nothing, it's when you're the least stressed and most at peace, I guess.

Speaker 1: 45:53

It's funny that you just read that because that legit. I would say that's legitimate because that was me. For three days there was no stress or anxiety. Did anything change during that time? Nope, Nothing changed. I actually got two pretty shitty phone calls about different things that were really were not great or fun to hear about, but it did, god, a couple of years ago.

Speaker 1: 46:24

Had I gotten those calls or texts, man, it'd have been bad news. But because I'd been mowing, I'm like, all right, let me know what you need for me. And I turned the mower back on. So maybe the point of this entire podcast is that I just need to buy a zero, turn the mower back on. So maybe the point of this entire podcast is that I just need to buy a zero-turn lawnmower. Look, they're just going to see me for free out cutting people's yards because my yard will only relax me for about five minutes. I'm just going up and down the streets mowing everybody's yards, pissing people off because it's not the right height, right, because everybody wants that stuff different. This is absolutely not what I plan on coming here and talking about today short podcast.

Speaker 2: 47:12

Yeah, where are?

Speaker 1: 47:12

we at 46? Holy shit, okay, I'm sorry everybody.

Speaker 1: 47:18

I don't think it's a sorry thing you guys well, I'm fine, don't, don't worry about me. Don't worry about me, don't worry about me, I'm fine, guys, I'm just going through it emotionally, emotional wreck. A lot, of, a lot, of, a lot of challenges and changes taking place. So let me summarize it's okay to feel shitty sometimes. It is perfectly okay to have an experience anxiety. It's okay to have an experience anxiety. It's okay to struggle with anxiety. I mean, people absolutely do that. If you can, if you're capable, find out the what you can do or what you need to do for yourself to keep yourself in the experience phase and not transition to the struggle phase.

Speaker 1: 48:11

The struggle phase is the dangerous phase. Experience is normal for everyone. If you're one of those that transitions to the struggle side, though, figure out what works for you. Maybe it's talking to somebody. Maybe it's mowing 20 acres of grass, some of it twice, cause you didn't like how you did the first time. Maybe it's fishing. Maybe it's walking. Maybe it's going to the gym. Maybe it's narcotics, maybe it's alcohol. I don't want to be, it's bad for you, but, like you know, I mean it's like, probably not this, you know huh, preferably, not.

Speaker 1: 48:58

Yeah, preferably not those things, but I mean the mowing may have involved a couple of beers or more like it's fine.

Speaker 1: 49:16

It's fine. Try to avoid the struggle piece, because we love you and worry about you. I want you to be good. Life is not fair. Life is never going to be balanced. So stop chasing balance.

Speaker 1: 49:39

Experience all of it Because, like I was talking about with the kids, when I feel all these things but I also feel an immense amount of pride All the shitty stuff I just talked about that are perfectly normal. It's a thing you have to experience, because you're also going to experience joy and love and laughter and happiness. You're going to be exhilarated. You're going to be excited, right, you're going to be excited, right, like these are all great things, but you would never know what any of those things feel like and how great those things are If you didn't also have to experience the shitty things and the shitty feelings. It's life, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You're just imperfect, human, like everybody else and like the majority. You just out here trying to do the best that you can. That's it.

Speaker 1: 50:48

Some days it feels shitty and some days it feels like you're the freaking best in the world at everything that you do. Don't get too high on yourself and don't get too down on yourself. You can't expect to be blessed without being stressed. It's all part of the deal. I hope this is helpful for somebody. I actually feel a lot better about some of the shit I've been dealing with, so I talked myself out of it. I stayed in the experience lane. You do the same. We love you. We'll catch you next time on the big dog podcast. Thanks, logan.

Speaker 1: 51:29

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes Turn and face the strange.

Speaker 2: 51:34

Ch-ch-changes. It's gonna have to be a different man. That may change me.